Revelation Page 4

  Crap, Winter. You can’t be so clingy.

  I could not help myself from going there, already dreading the fact he would be leaving, and knowing I never wanted to be away from him.

  “Yes,” Cayden replied softly. His mouth worked magic on my neck.

  “You are leaving after this film is done?”

  “We are leaving after this film is done,” he replied as his lips skimmed my cheek.

  “We?”

  Cayden’s hands came to the front of my shirt, undoing the buttons. He clarified, “Always we….”

  “Why, Mr. Cain, are you trying to get me naked? I just got dressed for the morning,” I teased and licked my lips.

  His blue eyed gaze followed the swipe of my tongue while his fingers slid over the bare skin of my shoulders to move the material of my shirt.

  “Why yes, Ms. Perri. In answer to your question, I believe I am.”

  “Mmm….”

  Cayden removed the shirt from my body. His lips blazed a trail from the tip of my shoulder to my ear.

  “Winter.”

  “Yes?”

  “Stand up and strip,” Cayden said.

  “All right. As long as you strip too.”

  “Deal.”

  I stood. He watched me remove my lacy bra, unbutton my jeans, and slide them down my legs. He tilted his head, gazed at me a moment then stood. Once he was on his feet, he pulled his T-shirt from over his head. The muscles of his stomach rippled. I lost myself for a second, until he removed his sweatpants. My attention fell to his erection, no longer hidden beneath the material of his sweats. Cayden wasn’t wearing a single stitch of clothes.

  “Panties,” he said. He glanced at the garment in question.

  “Off?”

  “Oh yes.”

  I slipped off my panties. He held his erection in his right hand and stroked, once. The cords in his forearms flexed. “Come here.” I took his proffered left hand. He turned me around. “Watch,” he said in a low velvety voice. I saw our reflection in the tall full-length gold gilded mirror in the corner by the entrance into the private en suite bath. We were naked, my body in front of his. He cupped my breasts, squeezed my nipples, kissed the side of my neck, worked one hand down my body, over my stomach then slid his finger between my feminine folds and rubbed. Both of us watched our reflection. My head fell back upon his rock hard chest. When I started to shake, he stopped and rested his large hands upon my hips.

  Cayden pulled me back, toward him, and sat down on the desk chair. He kissed the small of my back. I eased myself upon him, my front facing the mirror while Cayden sat behind me, and I watched as his cock disappeared into my body. I moaned. He groaned. His breath gusted across my ear. Cayden’s hands came around and spread me, allowing me to really see him inside of me as I moved up and down his length.

  “Don’t stop watching,” he said as his right hand moved to find the pulse of me. He rubbed my clit with the slightest pressure.

  The intense feeling of him deep inside me while I watched us took over, and I was rocked with an orgasm which flickered across my skin, skipped down my spine, and shot out from me. I observed my face. My mouth as it moved into a moan. I heard the sounds which emanated from me mix into Cayden’s labored breath.

  “Cayden,” I said. He groaned. “Oh, God!” Another crashing wave overtook the last one.

  My legs shook. My nipples stood erect. My body tightened around him. My hands grabbed at his knees. A tent of pink started on my chest, moved up my throat, hit my cheeks and spread. He pumped into me, and I came down and ground onto him.

  “Keep watching,” he said. “You are so beautiful when you come.”

  Cayden’s hands roamed up my body, found my breasts and palmed them. I rocked myself on him. I felt him hard inside of me, deep. I bit my lip and fought the urge to close my eyes when he hit my sweet spot. My body tensed and released with the movement.

  “Aaa…babe,” I muttered.

  We rocked, and I came again, watching this.

  “Winter,” Cayden said as he pressed his lips firmly between my shoulder blades. I experienced his warm breath on my back and the vibration of his words against my shoulder. “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you, Cayden.”

  Chapter Four

  Without Him

  Thursday. It would be a long day and an even longer night. Cayden had gone with Zander, Melissa, and Langdon. They all headed back into the city while I was left in this large house to rattle around the hallowed halls alone. Well, not quite alone. Richard, my driver, Jayden the impressively large bodyguard, and Chandler were around somewhere.

  I made my way downstairs to take a break from writing. I remembered seeing an exercise room the other night when I was lost. I thought it might be a good idea to get in a workout, not that I needed one after last night or this morning’s lustful rendezvous. Cayden had given me quite the workout. In fact, I wondered if my joints were still attached. He has a way of turning every part of my body into mush.

  I finally found the room I was searching for, and caught a glimpse of my smiling face in one of the two mirrored walls. I studied the free weights, the treadmill, the Bowflex, the stationary bike then proceeded to the elliptical machine. I definitely needed to clear my sinful thoughts. I attached my iPod to my armband, popped in my ear buds and began my pursuit. This machine would defiantly work me over I decided as I grabbed the poles. My legs and arms moved in motion with the music playing.

  After a few minutes, I felt the tingle of burn deep within my muscles so I pushed harder. The perspiration made its way to my forehead, my neck, and just about everywhere else. I closed my eyes and pushed myself even harder. Sweat rolled down the back of my neck and followed the curve of my spine. I lost myself to the music, the movement, and full blown burn in my muscles. I was in the zone when something flopped over my shoulder. I jumped.

  “Jeez!” I exclaimed. I pulled the ear buds from my ears to hear Chandler laugh. In a moment of clarity, I realized he’d thrown a towel over my shoulder.

  “You look like you could use that,” he mused.

  My eyebrows pushed together, watching him saunter over to the weights.

  “Thanks.” I grabbed the towel from my shoulder and wiped my face.

  “So…,” Chandler said and not quite glared at me.

  I wondered if he was going to continue to stay silent and stare, or if he was actually going to speak with me. And by the way he said “so,” I figured I was in for it. After all, when someone starts with so, that’s usually an indication the rest of what will follow is going to be interesting.

  “What is your plan for the day?”

  I shrugged. “No plan, really.”

  I continued with my workout. Evidently he had decided he was going to talk. Chandler lifted up a free weight from the floor and adjusted his grip before he curled it up to his chest.

  “I was wondering if you would like to have some lunch with me?”

  I studied him for a moment. He’s serious.

  “I guess,” I said still moving on the machine.

  Chandler laughed a throaty sound. “Don’t sound so enthused.”

  “What is it with you?” I huffed.

  “What?” he asked, his face a mask of faux horror before he smiled. “Just joking, really, don’t get mad.”

  Chandler must have actually paid attention to the look on my face. He stopped smiling.

  “Why did you ask me that, Winter?”

  “Well, I guess I don’t understand what your problem is with me. Sometimes you act like I am a pain in your butt. Other times you are just plain rude or even angry, and then there are those times I seem to amuse you somehow. I was wondering what the deal is? If you are mad at me or if I irritate you in some way just let me know.”

  “Impressive.” He smirked. “You have a temper but I like it.”

  “See, that right there!” I replied a bit miffed. “If I irritate you or amuse you so much–”

  “You do not irritate me.” His face became serious. “I like to joke a lot; you should not take me so seriously.” His serious face changed over into an expression of smug enjoyment. “But I have to admit you do amuse me.”

  The anger I experienced snapped across my face. I knew I wasn’t hiding it when I felt my forehead crease.

  “What is it about me you find so amusing?”

  “The expressions on your face are quite funny sometimes. You have a very expressive face. For instance, you pout and quite impressively.”

  “Oh,” I said, knowing Chandler was always honest but something about him seemed bug the heck out of me.

  “Anyway, if you are done questioning my feelings.” He chuckled.

  “No I don’t think I am done.” I huffed again.

  “Of course not.” He sighed rather exasperated. “What do you need to know, Winter?”

  I let it rip. “Are you mad at me because you dislike the fact I am with your brother?”

  “No,” he said quite seriously. His face showed no emotion.

  I bit at the inside of my cheek watching him watch me. “Then, you’re pissed about babysitting duty,” I blurted out. “You know I am a grown woman. I don’t need a babysitter.”

  Chandler chuckled. “No, I’m not ‘pissed’ as you put it.” With a rakish tilt to his head, he offered, “I know you are a grown woman, and I’m not your babysitter.” He mumbled something under his breath I could not quite hear about him not being blind and me being a woman. “Now, I really do want to take you out for lunch.”

  I looked at him almost confused. Expecting an argument. I wasn’t getting one. Clearly he had no intention of elaborating any further on his answer. I thought about his lunch proposal.

  “Out?” I asked.

  “Yes. You cannot s
tay locked up here like a prisoner. Just because my brother is always under the magnifying glass doesn’t mean you should have to suffer. Besides, my brother gave me strict instructions to keep you happy.” He smiled his real smile. “And I was told in no specific terms to tell you not to pout, to have some fun.” Chandler laughed strangely when his said this.

  “What is that laugh all about?”

  He shrugged, wiping sweat from his face, with his broad shoulder.

  “Well, I believe his exact words were, ‘Chandler, be nice to my Winter. She needs to have some fun, but not too much fun. You need to behave yourself with her, or I will kick your ass.’”

  “Um, okay,” I said with a smile of my own.

  “Yeah, my little brother may be a tad bit envious, because I am spending quality time with his beautiful woman.” Chandler let out a series of guffaws. “He would do it, too,” he said completely jovial with the thought of something.

  “What are you talking about, Chandler?”

  “Cayden. He would kick my ass over you or at least he would try.”

  I ignored Chandler’s amusement. Men are odd creatures. They do seem to gain a strange joy over the possibility of an ass-kicking.

  “Did Cayden really tell you to tell me not to pout?”

  Cayden seemed to know me so well. It was strange. But then our whole relationship was strange. Not hard or even new but oddly easy, as though we had always been together.

  “Yes,” he replied.

  “Huh…,” I mumbled.

  “So you never answered my question. Will you have lunch with me?”

  “I said I guess. Do you want a formal ‘Yes, Chandler I will join you for lunch?’”

  Chandler laughed out loud while placing the weight on the matted floor. Then he changed position. “Yes Ms. Wells, I think the formal answer is much more to my liking.”

  “Well, good. I am happy to give you the answer you so wanted to hear, Mr. Cain,” I said.

  I stopped the elliptical machine and moved to the treadmill. I heard Chandler still laughing to himself while he hunted for heavier weights.

  “Tell me something,” Chandler said after a few minutes of golden silence.

  “What?”

  “Why do you still wear that ring?” I felt my jaw tighten in an audible snap. “Sorry,” Chandler returned.

  “No. It’s okay,” I said. I paused for a moment.

  I thought about my answer. Strange. I did feel I owed Chandler an honest answer. And maybe I owed myself one, too.

  “At first, after Austin died, it was far too hard to come to grips with his death, the truth he was really gone. Too hard to accept I would never see him again. Too painful to accept the fact I would never be Mrs. Austin Carlyle. Then as time passed, it seemed to be a link to him in some way, a connection to my life, to my love. A link which kept me going, helped me breathe. I suppose it was easier to leave it on than to take it off. I guess something about removing it made his death and my separation from him final.”

  “And my brother, are you sure it is really my brother whom you love?”

  “Yes. I do love your brother more than I can tell you. I also understand how this must seem odd to you. It’s hard to explain, even harder to comprehend. There are so many things about your brother which make me think maybe, just maybe, he is somehow linked to Austin but that in no way diminishes his own individuality. I know Cayden is not Austin.” I paused. I could see Chandler’s serious face as though he wanted to stop me from speaking then he dropped his gaze. “Chandler, please understand. As difficult as this choice may be, the choice your brother has made to try and be with me, it has been difficult to allow myself to agree.”

  How could I really explain this, the connection, the love? But I knew I had to find a way to explain myself to Chandler. I also knew I was going to talk about things I did not want to speak about. I pulled in a large breath. Exhaled.

  “You see that first night, the night I saw Cayden, I was clearly under duress. I had been to the Carlyle house. Trust me, when I say going back there to the home of Austin’s parents was beyond difficult for me….” Chandler nodded his head in understanding. “But then on the way back to the hotel, Richard changed routes. I found myself back on the same street, in the same location of the crash. It was like everything, my present, my past, was conspiring against me. I heard the same song which was playing on the radio that night, the song which rang out into my ears as though it wanted to destroy me. I saw the ghosts of my past and knowing I was going crazy, I tried to run, only to find myself reliving the memories of that horrible night. Chandler, they were memories that I had locked away in desperation to survive. I never wished to return to them.”

  Chandler’s face became pained. His brow creased. “I am sorry,” he said. “I do understand your pain more than you may know.”

  And I knew he did. He’d lost his parents in a car crash.

  “Yes, your parents,” I said. “I am sorry for your loss.”

  He returned the conversation back to me without hesitation. “So when you saw my brother that night you thought he was Austin.”

  “When I finally made my way to the hotel, I heard your brother. His voice haunted me, but then I saw him. It was in that moment every bit of sanity left from me. He looked like Austin. I knew with no doubt I was either crazy, or he was sent here to destroy what was left of my existence. I thought maybe he was a hallucination. Perhaps my mind had actually snapped. The idea of my insanity made much more sense to me than anything else. So when you saw me that night, dazed, confused, and more than insane it was because I could not believe someone like Cayden existed. I’m still unsure I am fully awake, and he is actually real,” I said, gazing up at Chandler who tried to smile but kept his features silent. “When I realized how much your brother haunted me, his eyes, his face, his voice, I wanted to walk away. I needed to for my own sanity, but something would not let me. I thought of a hundred different ways, a thousand different ways, to stay away from Cayden. But then I gave in. I walked forward into what I knew was going to end very badly for me.”

  Chandler looked at me bizarrely. “Badly?”

  “How could Cayden care for me, Chandler? I was no one of importance. Nothing in which made me Winter Perri should capture his attention. Winter Perri did not even capture my own attention. Nothing about me could ever capture Cayden Cain I was sure of that. I was not young, new, polished. I was broken. I knew he could not see what I had not seen in me for years.” I paused and closed my eyes, feeling the truth of my words wash over me.

  “Winter,” Chandler replied. When I opened my eyes and glanced back up at him, he looked away from me. “You are wrong,” he said quietly. I smiled.

  “Chandler, when things went so wrong at the club, seeing the anger on Cayden’s face and hearing the distress in his voice I knew. I realized what I feared was true. I wasn’t good for him, and he was not good for me. I knew the truth of my fears. They crashed down upon me. I knew Cayden would be the final death of my already unstable heart. Cayden had an image to protect, and I was not part of that image.”

  “You are wrong,” he said. “He was not trying to protect himself he was trying to protect you.”

  “I know. When your brother told me how he felt about me I fell apart again. I struggled to understand how. How could this be? How could Cayden care for me? How could we be feeling the same connection to each other? It was impossible. But then he kissed me. I knew in that moment I must surrender to what I knew was right, what I knew I could never in a million years fight against. I love him Chandler, and as impossible as that may sound and as completely crazy as this may sound to you, I have always loved your brother. The love I feel for Austin and the love I feel for Cayden are one in the same.”

  Chandler’s face changed to an almost ancient mask of sadness. He never said a word. He shook his head in acknowledgment and moved to the bench press.

  “I am going to take a shower, get ready for lunch,” I said as I turned off the treadmill.

  “I will see you in an hour or so,” Chandler replied. He kept on with his workout.

  I wondered if I had truly upset him, but he did ask me how I felt, and I was truthful.

  Since arriving here at the estate there are two things I would like to always be able to do. The first would be to spend all of my time wrapped in the security of Cayden Cain’s arms, but the other would be standing in my shower. The only thing which may top it would be Cayden in the shower with me.